


Disconsolate

by MissEcchi



Series: ML Angst [2]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrinette, F/M, LadyNoir - Freeform, Marichat, Post-Episode: s03 Chat Blanc, adrienette - Freeform, angst but with a happy ending, chat blanc centred, i was tempted to make it a tragedy but i don't think we'd enjoy that, i went out of control and almost wrong 5k, marinette centred, minor PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:53:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21741766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissEcchi/pseuds/MissEcchi
Summary: She never really saw the colour white and blue the same way again.She never wanted to see those colours again.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe
Series: ML Angst [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1727860
Comments: 32
Kudos: 591





	Disconsolate

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: ...you bet your ass I'm back not too long later lel~ I recently hit 3000+ followers on tumblr surprisingly (smh bad decision making you lot s m h) so here is my first gift? 
> 
> I'm really happy with the lovely responses I got with the last fic I wrote; thank you all so much for that! On tumblr, I wrote a list of prompts and today I thought of doing this particular one myself because I really want some angst. Enjoy!

**.**

**.**

**.**

**~(x)~**

* * *

Grey?

Windy?

Rainy?

 _Perfect_.

Marinette thanked the higher deities for once as she trudged her way to school, adorned in a stylistic but waterproof black jacket and a cheap umbrella in one hand. The other hand crept into her clutch, feeling Tikki's hand wrap around a finger to provide comfort.

"Everything will be okay, Marinette," The little Goddess whispered supportively, squeezing the lone finger when she didn't receive a reply in response. The kwami understood the girl's turmoil; it has been a mere week after...

After _that_ event.

She never voiced it out loud but Tikki was more than aware that this is the first time that Marinette has actually looked at the sky. The teen didn't need words to express her disdain for its usual, baby blue colour. Tikki squeezed the finger one last time till they made it to the school building.

~(x)~

"Girl? Are you trying out a new trend or something?" Alya's question snapped the raven haired girl out of her daze, fist slipping away from its original place in supporting the side of her head as she leaned against it. Caramel coloured digits pinched the grey fabric of Marinette's turtleneck sweater and hazel eyes twinkled with curiousity.

 _'Heh- curious like a cat, he'd have appreciated that thought...'_ Mari almost smiled.

"New trend?" She finally asked. Conveniently, Mme. Bustier popped out of the class for who knows what so the rest of the class decided to chatter in her absence.

"Yeah, what's with the grey? You're usually a black, white and pink sort of girl, no?" Then, a sudden glint of mischievousness glittered in Alya's orbs as she leaned forward to mock whisper in Marinette's ear. "Or- is this another plan to impress Adrien? Hm~?" She cackled as Marinette used a finger to push her back by the forehead, an unimpressed pout on the smaller girl's lips.

"Not this time," Marinette let out a little sigh, hoping that no one caught her exhaustiveness but she might as well have been wishing that pigs could fly. Her best friend and the two boys at front noted for the umpteenth time how knackered she was. "I just don't like wearing white anymore..."

Adrien, the ever loving eavesdropper, cocked his head in confusion and then asked:

"Is it because of how easily it can stain?" He was met with a surprised jolt from the baker girl instead. She blinked a few times before nodding along. Though, it seemed like she was using his question as an excuse instead...

"Really? That didn't stop you before." Alya giggled. "You wore that pretty white blouse when we went paintballing, that white jacket at the trip to that muddy farm, that beautiful dress- which you need to teach me how to make- to the chocolate factory. I could go on!" The boys hummed in agreement.

"Well...it's going to sound silly but- I- erm, I don't really like the colour anymore." Marinette's downcast eyes trailed to her fingers which was clutching the desk in an iron grip. The trio took that as a sign to drop the subject since it's clear that they've hit a nerve. Feeling her panic rise inside, Marinette excused herself to the restroom speedily with Alya hot at her heels.

Adrien couldn't help but feel useless and shitty right now.

"I wish she'd tell us what's going on so that we can help..." The model exhaled and dropped his upper half against his desk, itching to dart out of the room and bring Marinette back in his arms.

"Maybe she's just going through an emo phase?" Nino's unhelpful quip was met with a slap behind the head from his baffled friend. "Okay! Sheesh- why'd ya gotta hit me so hard dude!?"

~(x)~

Having seen many strange things in her life, especially since the dawn of akumas, it was hard to surprise Sabine. Yet, something as simple as this grated on her maternal urges.

The bin in Marinette's room was filled to the brim with content.

Content that's not rubbish.

Sabine spotted rolls and rolls of fabric, scattered rhinestones and faux gems, cluttered pens and pencils and many more things. What stood out was that they all ranged from different shades of blue to white. The woman narrowed her eyes in confusion before concluding that Marinette may have mistaken her rubbish bin as her fabric bin again, taking all the content out and arranged them as neatly as possible on the chaise.

She'll have a talk with Marinette once she's back from school, hopefully. Sabine may be a busy woman but she can always tell whenever her daughter is feeling low or acting out of character.

A couple of hours later, she and her husband was hastening through an emergency catering order for some event, much to Sabine's dismay. A few more hours after that, it was past midnight and her daughter was sound asleep.

Just as Sabine was about to leave Marinette's bedroom after checking up on her and kissing her forehead, her eyes narrowed at the bin again.

The blue and white fabric and stationary she fished out was back in there again.

~(x)~

"Eh!? Where did your beautiful blue eyes go, girl!?" Alya's squawks in the middle of the park interrupted Adrien's and Nino's conversation and they both shot their head forward to see the girl tugging along a shorter one whilst leaning into her face at the same time. Adrien jogged towards the girls, leaving Nino to look after the picnic.

The model couldn't believe his eyes.

The sweet, soft, baby blues in Marinette's orbs were replaced with a dark, brownish grey pair. Although it suited her naturally, it hid her face more rather than making them as striking as the blue. The first thing Adrien would see whenever he saw Marinette was her charming eyes; it feels like he's searching for her now instead.

"I'm just trying out new contacts. They looked kinda cool, don't you think?" She gave a little twirl, the skirt of her dress flared modestly but prettily in colour that could rival buttercups.

 _'That outfit would have been complete if she wasn't hiding her real eyes...'_ Adrien mused to himself sadly. No matter how beautiful she looked, Marinette simply didn't look as fleshed out and vibrant with eyes like that. Or maybe it was the fake, polite smile she had plastered on her face.

"Meh- I personally love the blue, you have the prettiest eye colour I've ever seen," Alya made way to Nino, not aware of the way Marinette's smile dropped. "I'd have liked to see you with golden brown, like Nino's! Or maybe green, like Adrien's," The blogger gave a sly wink and then chuckled along with her boyfriend when Marinette scoffed and Adrien scratched his head in confusion.

"Is she indirectly trying to say that it doesn't suit me?" The designer directed her pout at Adrien.

He would have happily fought a thousand warriors to make her smile or maybe kick Lila off the roof a few dozen times.

He didn't want to lie however.

"I think she just misses the usual colour, Marinette," The golden haired teen smiled, letting his fingers brush Marinette's fringe aside gently so that her eyes aren't as shadowed. "You do look more like your maman with grey eyes," His fingers now lingered on her cheekbone. Marinette's heart hammered against her chest and butterflies erupted in her stomach. She internally prayed that her cheeks didn't colour, unaware that Adrien was hoping the same for himself.

"B-But?" Marinette tilted her head slightly till the boy was fully cupping her face. He unconsciously let his thumb stroke the soft, supple skin a few times.

"I miss your blue eyes too, they remind me of the sky,"

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say.

Marinette pulled out of his hold, biting her bottom lip with a dark, ugly emotion swimming through the contacts, glowering at the clear, azure sky.

"Marinette? Are you okay?" Adrien reached forward again, hoping to catch her hand and apologise but the girl quickly nodded her head and forced a smile back on her face.

He really can't stand that smile.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just tired. Let's get to Alya and Nino before they abandon us to make out behind a tree or something again," She didn't wait for his answer and darted to their friends.

She might as well have slapped him and that would have stung much less.

Adrien's eyes shimmered sadly, making way to the trio. As he mingled and chatted with them, he kept a careful eye on Marinette. He noted her subdued actions. He noted her watered down expressions. He noted her fake smiles. He vowed to get to the bottom of it.

He'll do anything to make her feel happy again.

~(x)~

Ladybug stared at her reflection with disgust.

The moonless, pitch black sky made her figure seem sleeker and mysterious. The golden lights from nearby buildings and street lamps gave an illusion of glitter in her hair. The chill of the summer wind pinkened her sensitive lips into a plump, kissable colour.

Yet all that Ladybug could do was grimace at her reflection at a nearby window on the roof she was perched on and claw at her cheek with one hand.

_White skin. Blue eyes. White skin. Blue eyes. White skin. Blue eyes-_

"Buginette?" The sound of Chat Noir's voice brought the heroine back to reality like gasp of fresh air. She immediately whisked her body around to face him, drinking in the sight of her beloved partner.

_Tan skin. Green eyes. Tan skin. Green eyes. Tan skin. Green eyes._

"Why were you clawing at your face like that, My Lady?" He was suddenly close, grasping her hand away from her cheek which was reddened from all the scratching. He scowled at the marks, using his other hand to rub them away.

A notion that reminded her of another green eyed, tan skinned boy.

"I was just thinking..." She lied. Ladybug pretended to ignore the irritated twitch of Noir's cat ears and the snap of his tail slashing against the roof tiles. The teen clad in black squeezed her hand firmly; a body gesture she's come to recognise after so long.

He's not letting her go.

"I've been watching you for the past few minutes, Bug," Though his tone was smooth, his eyes were acidic. "Muttering about something alongside of _'disgusting'_...?" He brought her hand to his lips, kissing the inside of her wrist but never leaving the appendage. His next few words were mumbled against the skin. "I hope you weren't talking about yourself..."

Ladybug wanted to scream.

She wanted to cry.

She wanted to tell him everything.

Of how a sole, childish mistake of hers...

Cost them everything.

Including him.

 _Especially_ him.

But she can't.

"I wasn't, silly Chaton," This time, when she leaned into his touch and delivered a small smile, Chat Noir was reminded of his wonderful classmate. The two most important women in his life are suffering and they're not letting him in to help.

It really pissed him off.

"The truth, please," He breathed against her wrist, digging his other hand through her hair. One ribbon came undone and fluttered away with the breeze as his claws combed through the inky tendrils. The other ribbon joined its sister without much prompting- perhaps obeying the wishes of the miraculous holders and let the hair fall free.

Chat Noir fell in love all over again.

Ladybug never wanted to cry more now than ever.

She couldn't stand seeing such affection in his eyes, knowing that it brought him to his doom at one point in a future. A future that she's prevented.

A future that could _still_ happen.

"I just really, _really_ hate the colour blue." Tears sprang out of her eyes without permission, forcing her to hide her face into Chat's chest and cry silently.

The boy pushed away his disorientation and questions, arms encasing her against him as if he's protecting her. His chin rested on Ladybug's head as he squeezed her tight, hoping that it comforted her even if it was just a smidge.

Because it's more help he's done today for the girls than he's done for the past week.

That night, patrol was cancelled.

Ladybug slipped away from his arms with a quiet goodbye, tracing the brow of his mask with her thumb and melancholy written all over her face. She swung away without another word.

Chat Noir was left alone.

Until, a familiar ribbon swept through the breeze and landed on his shoulder. With a gentleness that juxtaposed his deadly claws, the boy collected the magical fabric with his fingers, twirling it absentmindedly.

Noir brought the ribbon to his lips, kissing it as lightly as if it's made out of glass.

Suddenly, clarity hit him like a ton of bricks. His eyes dilated as every single puzzle piece finally clicked in his mind. Every interaction, every presence, every feeling, every _smile_ , all made sense!

"Marinette..."

~(x)~

She knew that this was wrong.

That this was dangerous.

She knew exactly what the consequences were in the future.

Again, her dilemma was kicked away by another delectable kiss.

God, she was so selfish!

The cat didn't care though.

Chat Noir parted her lips with his once more, relishing the taste of her bruised, swollen but sweet lips, tracing the rims with his tongue before slipping it inside.

His gloved hands explored her torso modestly but lovingly, in a dance that they've tangoed too many times to count. Marinette's hair was loose and fanned against her pillow. The girl in question was clad in her pyjamas whilst the boy straddled her in his armour. His hands were clasping hers one more time as they parted for a brief moment and tilted their heads ever so slightly for a better angle before resuming back into their kiss.

It was like every teen's deepest, darkest dreams.

To have their loved one sneak into their bed and kiss them senseless till the early morning. To have sweet nothings whispered into their ear whilst surrounded by their arms. To have their necks marked with memories and promises and have it tingle throughout the rest of the day whilst hiding the evidence with a scarf.

Marinette is not an ordinary teen. Neither is Chat Noir.

Reality and logic came storming back into her mind, forcing Marinette to pull away from the kiss. Chat kissed his teeth in disapproval before deciding to target her shoulder as she lectures them about their duties for the millionth time. He was getting real sick of that crap. His annoyance was indisputable from the numerous love bites he's left on her body.

"Chat...please...we shouldn't..." Marinette gasped out as the boy peppered her with kisses.

"Why?" His lips were trailing the shell of her ear now. "Why do you always try and push me away, My Lady?" Her gasps were now more pronounced as Chat skimmed his teeth against the lobe gingerly. "I just want to make you happy..." His voice was barely above a whisper now.

Clearing her throat and willing her heart to calm down, Marinette propped herself up on her elbows and flashed a look at Chat. Her _'Business means business'_ face which Chat has dubbed it as. The cat boy merely sat up, still having her pinned on the bed and had both her hands in his.

This time, Tikki joined the duo from her hiding space, plopping herself on top of Marinette's shoulder.

"It's bad enough that we're hiding all of this from Master Fu," Tikki began. She wasn't exactly reprimanding them but she also wasn't fond of the affair either. "But the fact that you know each others identities is unsafe-"

"Tikki!" Marinette cut the Goddess off with a hiss. Chat Noir couldn't believe his ears and he leaned forward, hope bubbling in his eyes.

"I knew it...I knew you found out," A broken laugh escaped him as he kissed her hands repeatedly. "You've been flashing those eyes at me...at civilian me, because you know! You've lingered closer to me...you, oh my God- I knew I wasn't going crazy," He babbled so happily that Marinette couldn't help the guilt that weighed heavier in her stomach.

Were they this happy in the other future before the incident? She wondered what it was like to be ignorant of the ice cold horror that was waiting to engulf them all.

"Tikki's right, Minou. It's too dangerous," Hurt and bewilderment flashed on Chat's face and his grip tightened on her hands. "I love you so much...I can't bear to see you hurt," Tears rolled down his cheeks and hers followed suit.

"Are we not allowed to be happy?" He sniffed. Chat lowered his forehead on hers, eyes scrunched close to keep the tears away but it was no use. "This isn't fair..."

"I know... _I know_ ,"

Tikki felt her heart shatter too, cursing Le Papillon for depriving two of the most beautiful souls of a future filled with happiness. It just wasn't fucking fair.

"Say my name...please...please Marinette..." He uttered her name over and over again, like a prayer. Chat's hands cupped her cheeks, eyes begging for her to spill.

She'd do anything to get rid of that sadness in his eyes.

" _Adrien_ ," Marinette breathed and cried so beautifully when the boy detransformed immediately. The smooth, cool surface of his gloves was now warm flesh cradling her burning skin. The heat of his body on hers increased by a thousand and comforted her frame. His cat like eyes were naturally back to human but familiar green eyes.

No more secrets.

"One more night...please..." Adrien didn't dare to open his eyes now, wrapping his arms around her body and ducking his face into the crook of her neck. Marinette sent a pleading look to the kwamis, eyes shimmering with more tears to shed.

Tikki and Plagg gave her a smile before making their way to the Goddess' hiding spot.

"Watch over my kid," The being of destruction purred.

Adrien took that as a sign to sit back up, gobsmacked that their last selfish wish was being granted. He let out another broken chuckle, matching Marinette's heartbroken smile.

"I love you," He whispered and then connected his lips with hers. "I'll never stop loving you," He pushed her back down on the bed and kissed harder. "I'll wait for you forever, always,"

She believed him.

~(x)~

He's always believed that he's someone who wouldn't raise their voice, no matter what. After all, he did inherit his Father's threatening, ice chilling, tone which he only uses to manipulate someone into doing something (i.e. getting corrupted rich men off his back, scaring Lila away from tormenting his Marinette, etc).

He's been wrong before.

He's definitely wrong now.

Seeing a doppelganger of himself pop out of the blue in a stark white uniform with unsettling blue eyes and an expressionless face was already a major shock to his system. Seeing the way Marinette froze up on the spot and then collapse on her knees at the sight of _him_ was another.

He had to get them out of here and transform!

"I told you...we could fix it all if you'd just give me...

.

.

.

**YOUR MIRACULOUS!"**

~(x)~

It took them twenty-four hours to defeat this akuma.

The akuma itself was just a poor, little child who was berated by his peers for being scared of something. So, he in turn brought out the scariest thing that everyone's seen to life so that they could understand his pain.

Not only did they have to hire Rena Rouge, Carapace and Queen Bee (a risk that they had to take), they also had to bring out Viperion, Ryuuko, Pegasus, Roi Singh and nominate the rest of their classmates to pair with the zodiac miraculouses.

The battle was gruesome and messy with everyone else's standard fears.

 _Chat Blanc_ , his name learnt through Ladybug's petrified rambles, took the icing on the cake. The white cat was loaded with infinite destruction and managed to wipe out the whole team save for Chat Noir and Ladybug.

Ladybug has never hesitated when it came to fighting akumas and sentients- Chat Blanc was the exception. Thus, it ruined the dynamic of the team and sent thousands of innocents to their demise as the wild cat killed everything in his sight.

It took twenty detransformations, eighteen passionate yet desperate kisses after being separated so long from their break-up, ten begging prayers and three tear-streaked faces till Ladybug finally listened to Chat Noir and got her head sorted in the game.

Playing herself as bait as her civilian form, Marinette managed to catch Chat Blanc's attention, making him an easy target to cataclysm before that monster could DARE to touch his Princess.

One cleansing light later, everything was back to normal.

~(x)~

"I'm sorry, Marinette, Adrien," The old guardian's grave words felt like a punch into the duo's guts. This was it. They were going to lose their miraculouses. Marinette wasn't surprised- it was her fault after all. This doesn't mean that Adrien should be punished as well! He did nothing wrong-

"I'm sorry for not preparing and training you both properly," Fu's self-deprecating tone clicked the boy and girl back into reality and they gaped when they saw that he didn't make a move to take back the miraculous boxes.

"I-I thought...that you'd take them away..." Marinette spoke bravely. She was met with a kind smile from the old man instead who shook his head and beckoned her and Adrien to slip the jewellery on without hesitation. His brown eyes crinkled with delight as they rejoiced with their kwamis.

"But...why?" Adrien whispered, tempting to pinch himself because he's never this lucky. "We've been hiding in secrecy for so long...you said you'd take our miraculous away if we...told each other..."

"Yes, a terrible decision from a man who made terrible choices in the past." Fu sighed. "I've noticed when you've started to suspect, Adrien," The blonde in question froze in his seat. "I knew that a reveal was inevitable sooner or later considering how close you both are in and out of the mask...in _all_ combinations," The guardian smirked at the way the two stiffened from his choice of words. Clearly they weren't as sneaky as they thought when Marinette and Chat Noir had their...moments.

"I also noticed how off you were when Bunnix took you away, Marinette," Adrien instinctively clasped her hand with his, hoping he'd provide her with some warmth. It took a while but he managed to coax out of her of what happened and soon, everything made sense. With the help of their kwamis, he managed to get rid of the guilt out of her system because honestly, she did NOTHING wrong.

"You two are the only ones fit of handling the mantle of the Ladybug and Black Cat. You've defeated a being capable of infinite destruction, twice in your case Marinette. You have both grown stronger with the knowledge of each others identities and have gained such strong loyalty from not only Tikki and Plagg but also all the other kwamis. I am so sorry for burdening you both with secrecy but believe me, I only had the best intentions. Will you forgive me?"

Marinette and Adrien were crying with joy now, the latter blowing his nose into a handkerchief much to Plagg's disgust, causing everyone else in the room to laugh. Finally, their souls seemed lighter than ever.

~(x)~

"Oh? That's an interesting choice of colour today," Adrien laughed, not wasting any time to give Marinette a twirl so that the skirt of the dress flared like a blooming flower. The girl giggled before landing on his chest and brought him into an embrace. The model hummed happily, kissing the crown of her head with a blush.

He'll never get enough of Marinette and the way she gets his heart racing.

"I think it's about time I prove to Nino that I'm not going through an emo phase." Marinette pulled her head away from Adrien's chest to stick her tongue out at the DJ. The bespeckled boy let out a mock scoff and retorted with:

"It's either that or a Chat Noir phase! Take your pick!"

"Fine- emo phase it is." Marinette sighed dramatically, smirking at Adrien's protests as she bounced towards Nino and Alya. She didn't get far as her partner swept her away in his arms, bridal style, making way to their friends despite her shrieks.

"Ew. They're gonna be THAT couple. Alya. Bleach my eyes," Nino received a flick on the nose instead from his girlfriend who was busy taking millions of photos for her 'adrinette' album.

"After all that slow burning, months of pining, I expect nothing less of my children," Alya harrumphed and then sped towards Marinette to see her latest dress up close. Judging from the way she squealed and the next ten million pictures she took, Alya loved the garment.

"I could make you one?" Marinette offered. She tried to get down to her feet but Adrien wouldn't budge, only clutching her closer to him as he whistled innocently. He could be so clingy sometimes!

"Me? No way! I can never pull it off like you do! That cool gradient of blue and white and those blue ribbons and SHOES! Ugh Marinette- you're just so fucking pretty, marry me already!" Alya playfully clasped her hands with Marinette's, both girls enjoying the way Adrien's eyebrow twitched at their over-affectionate actions.

"Haha- no. I'm not sharing my girl,"

"Haven't you heard, Adrien? It's hoes before bros." Marinette finally jumped out of his arms which loosened from bafflement and skipped away with Alya hooked in one arm. Nino cackled when Adrien finally came to, muttering about how girls will be the death of him as he made way to the trio.

It feels like it's been years since they've had a picnic at this spot in the park.

Marinette couldn't help but sigh blissfully. This whole month has been one heck of a rollercoaster. Now? She's got the love of her life and kick-ass but adorable partner lying on her lap with her fingers curling through his blonde locks. Master Fu has stepped up as a mentor for both her and Adrien (although going through numerous locations to ensure his safety was a pain and a half).

"The sky's so pretty," Adrien murmured, bringing Marinette back out of her daydreams. She blinked owlishly at him a few times before raising a brow.

"How can you see the sky if you're looking at me?"

"No, I'm looking at the sky," His hand suddenly reached up, fondling the skin below her eye and his thumb stroked the smooth arch of her brow. "See?" He then leaned up, pulling her in for a soft kiss before lying back down with a content smile, regardless of the way Marinette's face exploded in red.

"OH MY GOD THAT IS CHEESY! I BET YOU ALYA, THEY'LL RUN AWAY TO ENGLAND AND GET MARRIED AT SIXTEEN! I BET YOU FIFTY EUROS!"

"Top ten reasons to why I should hit Nino has now been updated to top twenty, note that down please Cesaire?" The model growled whilst everyone else giggled.

Marinette smiled at her love and then smiled at the sky.

White and blue isn't so bad after all...

**.**

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**.**

**~(x)~**

* * *

**A/N: It's almost six in the morning, I have to get to class in three hours. Fuck. I'll spellcheck and all that stuff tomorrow. Thank you for reading!**


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